Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Converses With My Moments

Puffing away the day's chores
that I count down with all my will
sometimes against, but with affection

running length and breadth with the tick-tocks
marking down unending to-do lists
cheering everyone I love, and then me

smiling at gale of chatters that matters
calls , talks, blue ticks, for every soul touched
with every cup of coffee, every plate meal

just dawn to dusk is not my call
pretty odd  reverse way too, work to work
charging away tough jiffs

every job accomplished, fulfilled promises
every concluding day, fuels my brain and brawn
stimulates every nerve and my bone

living thousand moments, cuddled up in me
looking away from chores into open pages of life
as I write and write and write, love you, I tell my moments.....

Sunday, May 06, 2018

Best Practices - Being A Good Husband

To all the lol-yal husbands out there, here is your free handbook of how to make your wife feel "at the top of the world"

Dear Husbands, I know you are all busy taking instructions from your wives. Now you can be free from all this trouble. This Rule Book will free you from all worries. All for free. 
Just follow the golden rule "let them (the wives) free and they will come back".
Do not worry, this is a very short reading. I have been advised by other wives, we have plenty of reading to do on Whattsapp, so I keep this rule book short and sweet.

Remember we are all hungry for "Appreciation". All. You and us, we wives. Bingo. You got it.
There's a trick to it. Simple "hey darling you are so beautiful" will turn you into so predictable. Be genuine is the trick. Mother is God. It will strike right. Just touch her shoulders and say, you are my next mother darling. You take so good care of me and kids. (For those who do not have kids, it will  still make your job easier).

Please make a note, to listen between the lines. Or make your notes to read between those activities. There is a pattern with all housewives especially. We are super thrilled and proud of our skill full capabilities of multitasking. Less said is better. We will smilingly complete all chores. We will become the Cinderella for a while. We will do the laundry. But there is a pattern. Somewhere, you get a signal when we might throw out that raged tantrum. "Taken for granted" tantrum. "Hell-O we can't be taken for granted okay?" Have you all heard this first time in life today? Liars. 
Polish your comprehensive skills to note those details that give out signals of taken for a granted tantrum. Moments before you feel the tremor, get into your house-husband mode. Your duty begins now. Get on to job right then. And side by side, keep your notes handy in the pocket.

  • Do not even think of picking phone calls while you are ironing your laundry.
  • When the washing machine and the dishwasher are side-by-side, remember where things land will decide where you will land that evening.
  • Set your goals and convey it to her. She will decide how to award you. Hence, do not overdo stuff or offer to accomplish more than your capability.
  • If your wife still watched K- serials on television, please maintain double hand distance from her while holding verbal communication.  Don't take this lightly. I have read in newspapers, about divorce cases filed after wife slapped husband hard inspired by Ekta Maata soaps.

Small things create big joys in life. Apply this as Best Practices in your daily life. At 5AM in the morning, if you try shouting "darling toilet tissue is over, care to get a new roll?", you are for sure in deep trouble. Take up small tasks to do. Do not create such blunders by overloading Cinderella with such small tasks. She will not run all errands singing happy song, then wait for the magic fairy at the night in the backyard. She can turn insane and give you a piece of her mind right served hot with your morning tea. And in case you happen to be tea maker of the morning, kudos. Good job. You have acquired a star for yourself. Remember one cup of that refreshing tea or coffee when brewed and served by the husband,  her eyes would swoon sipping it. And ignore her early morning jibes for toilet tissue paper. She can be insane at times but remember you would have called her your next mother, so technically ignore wife jibes. They are short-lived till you get the next set of diamonds from Kalyan Jewellers or movie tickets for the two of you.

Last but not least, the CCC rule. Criticism, Controls, and Comparison. They are precise and inter-related too.
Criticism should be showered only when demanded genuinely. Do not get obsessed with your superior qualities and start evaluating her skills in the house. Or, try doing that when you are fully confident you can cook your dinner for the day or standing on your own feet in your own house. On the flip side, also do not shower unnecessary compliments on us. We have mammoth patience levels for the benefits of doubts. For us too much is too bad, we believe in earning what we deserve.

Well, criticism does not put her off at least but comparison surely does. Committing that blunder and it may land you in trouble. She may possess all the hands-on information about your colleague's salary. Beware, comparisons are traps. To yourselves.

Who do you think is the control of the house? Never brush aside opportunities available to share the authority management in the house. It rests on both your shoulders. However, the golden rule applied, hand over controls to her as when required. She very well believes in balancing life. Never underestimate her EQ/IQ or touch that feminist soft spot. You may lose all your future opportunities to lecture her in case she needs help or fails, and you might yourself end up in a soup. Listening from her, about your ego-filled authoritative male self.  Why burn your fingers. Be wise. Let her drive. Let her go to work, watch movies with friends. Let her be what she wants. She takes a turn to hold the upper hand, and you wait prudently for yours.

All in all, marital bliss is not about marriages that are made in haven. Hell no. They are run on the earth.
 And golden rules are to be applicable to run it successfully. I am not at all quoting the traditional rule of "always listen to your wife". NO. Do not talk hyperbolic fiction and show her stars in the sky. leave that to Salman Khan or Akshay Kumar. Your husbands cant handle it.
Husband -wife is like the Tom-Jerry and almost hilariously is based on "I scratch your back, you scratch mine".
In fact, be rational, read this rule book and stay enlightened. All cats are out of the bag here. You have most secrets of wives, so you know how to handle yourself.
After all, wives are supreme power and they guide you well throughout.

Friday, May 04, 2018

Like It Or Not

Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers
Honestly I do not need a reason to write. I manage to find a topic. So this one almost goes like a semi rant post may be if that term exists but themed on something. You figure it out. I can crib on anything and at times wait to see who would read it at all and at times go in hideout, scared why would someone read it too.

Don't we always look back with fond love as we move ahead in life. We tend to look back at the path that lead us, at some nostalgic memories, people we encountered, places we lived in and many more things.

Today, I experienced a similar thing. I had begun my blogging journey in the year 2010. (though many posts are taken off the site for a reason now). And like we attend a school, I too was inclined to blogger platform then. The Indiblogger. Fostering most bloggers. Am sure  many writers began their journey here like me. For the past 4 years I had been off the platform, though I posed few stuff on my blog off and on and also visited Indiblogger in brief.

I adhere to my old school  methods. Last evening, I visited the site rather leisurely, and tried to look for most old faces, old bloggers I read. Found a few. Lost few. Few results showed not found/ error.
And a few had stopped posting after 2016 or so too.

I somehow felt creepy. As if I missed a train. 

Now, few days back my old apprentice, as we met in a forum, welcomed me there by saying 'Blogger lady is back". In an attempt not to show my thrill, I smiled and responded easily "you remember this from like 4 plus years". And another friend around praised him for his elephant memory.

Nevertheless, I kept pondering. Why do people remember other people. Definitely they like something in them. And if you have to be liked, you sure have been sending out positive friendly vibes. Also, why would someone remember a blogger? I thought it was something that put people off. No? You blog? And their mind is a puddle like " she blogs lol" and someone went to the extent of saying "anybody can write". So it was clear. huh. Like, is there something you actually do?. Hey, listen, I just love writing okay. And I run too. I am a speaker too. Now. Yes.

So I stuck to my couch, with the itch to write again. Like an analysis of what I was thinking.

Like I said earlier, I do not need a reason  to start writing. To me writing is a learning. Baby step each day, is what keeps me  going. 

In one of the recent Toastmasters meetings, we discussed Likability. It was brought forth by a person whom I love and look upon always. Not the Facebook  likes alone. But serious one. Many agreed that being likable is something you can aim at and few decided to remain confused and few like me gave it a negative nod. I was even frightened to know there is a whole book on how to be likable. Now, the entire subject is a loop. While the term likable itself is too generic. Going by the 11 laws of likability in the book, it is clear that we need to be straight and genuine and so on. It no where says we need to try to please people.
Yes, being likable here becomes a tough question again. No matter how genuine and good you are, at times there are numerous people who "chose" not to like you. And there is no reason for this.  It is freedom of expression. May be another book can be written on this too.

When this happens, you just need to log out of those thoughts and log into positive ones. And continue being genuine.

Keep yourself surrounded by everybody you love. Give your love and your sure will receive some in return.

Now, my nice readers,  keep the company of good thoughts.  Good things will automatically happen to you.

There's cute number by Madonna. Try listening to this on YouTube. Meanwhile here is a part of the lyrics. Like me or hate me, she says:
You can call me a sinner
Or you can call me a saint
Celebrate me for who I am
Dislike me for what I ain't
Put me up on a pedestal
Or drag me down in the dirt
Sticks and stones will break my bones
But your names will never hurt
This is who I am
You can like it or not
You can love me
Or leave me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop
No no, you know
No no, you know