Friday, March 16, 2012

Sex Education

This article won a prize:
Stayfree Time To Change! IndiBlogger Contest Winner

"Sex" a healthy biological concept, is it termed "dirty" and censored" even today? Do we still feel a sense of guilt/shame as we talk about sex?. 

It has been ages since the concept of separating the two wonderful human genders on this earth existed. Today the evolution has taken over.  And children are no more at the mercy of cheap pornographic pictures, or the fear of misinformation from equally ignorant friends. Many educated families inculcate "sex" education in children in sober, positive, and compassionate methods. Yet how far has it gone successful in schools? Though the western world inculcates sex education yet there are still not any less of teenage pregnancies which is a due concern in India too. Is it not a must to be taught in schools too? And that includes  "bad and good touch" to the pre-adolescent too. 
Access to pornography, condom commercials are as common as coffee or toffee advertisements. Why Popular  Bollywood movies of recent times have been quite educative on such topics while women crime has dirty and high statistics today.
For a moment I was frozen today evening as my mere seven years old narrated me how her day with her friend was." .....And you know amma, I told Stina how a baby is born. You have to push, the doctor will pull it out. But I am sure you don't need the vacuum cleaner always isn't it?"  One big lump in my throat and I managed to speak "errr we will speak at home, I am driving and there is a signal ahead". I am still thinking over it that it came too soon and how do I handle this tomorrow. And what about Stina? I am sure her mom has a surprise too. Huh.

Our children should be empowered with knowledge instead of exposing them to the hypocrisy of the adults. Denials or avoiding would definitely break the boundaries of frankness. Being open to children is tough BUT important as they decide the fate of their tomorrow. And we adults serve as a guide today. Apart from literacy the education should include sex-education in the overall personality department and should be regarded as primary responsibility in schools. Earlier generations grasped the terms with their sexuality with natural circumstances or the mother teaching the menstrual hygiene to daughters. Today the schools have taken the responsibility of this to major extent, with partial options kept open with councellor present in school for support. We go ahead to educate children with the most abstract of science yet refuse to inculcate the most commonest phenomena of human science. Do we want to make social, ethical boundaries to this? I think they are divine and children rightfully should be bestowed with it. The schools do teach hygiene, must also encourage a child to recognise objectionable behaviour, bad touch. A mere sense of when to raise a alarm upon someone behaving irresponsibly  forms a part of it. Putting aside the gender bias it is also time to realise that both gender are equally prone to any social evils or crime. A healthier education in right manner remains in the required list for the two genders equally and at the same time demanding the moral responsibility by both the guardians and the schools.
While I also respect the fact that a holistic sex education will surely not eradicate the crime in the society and might even have pitfalls or negatives of its own, yet it promises a flicker of  better social conditioning and better bet on fighting social evils.
Isn't it time for change?. Isn't today's evils of society a wake up call?

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Thumb Held

Picture Courtesy Google

Gathering bits of pearls that sparkle on the path of the memory lane, worth the nostalgic efforts and making the grand lace of memoir is what I seriously love doing and redoing any number of times. The bits of pearls are those times of my good old past/ a recent past, and the grand lace will be this entire post.
Well in mid thirties today, and is definitely the phase as I muse over the past, that taught me all this while the lessons of life and nevertheless to mention the important part of all this happens to be the childhood. There have been countless moments countless thoughts in my mind on the subject and more so as I saw my seven year old grow up. I happily abandoned my career for a phase of 3 years and spent the best part of my life with J[Lets shorten her name so for you]. I have absolutely no words to express this yet penning down few moments might exhaust my dictionary but not the feelings. They are immortal. 

Again I muse where do I begin, as the thoughts have been randomly bubbling throughout in my mind to the extent that shaping it into one lace is my job now! That phase of J grow up has been the times I feel myself in my best as a woman, mother and a daughter too. Feeling like a mom and feeling a mom was really enchanting and learning period. I am caught in act of pursuit of my reflection in every activity of J.
The best co-incidence was in me and J spending our year 1 to year 3 close to the Konkan-coast. It seems I was taken down to the sea-shore that was just 1 kilometer on back our residence in my age 2. The repeat version of this was when J grew up playing every evening in the sands of Surathkal  beach. Obviously I don't remember the monkeys of north Karnataka robbing another robber. Age 3, I would just abscond with the "milk powder" box  and one day only to be robbed away by a monkey on the mango tree who prowled on me sitting in balcony relishing milk powder. But my parents can laugh  at it even today. Even worst was when I decided to run away leaving my dads hands only to be chased by a bull and return sobbing to my dad. They muse me today, as I point my index at J, as her punishments for her little pranks. All the footwear lined up beautifully in shoe rack would mesmerize her onto either tasting them or strewing them around in my living room or hurl some down the balcony. If she was found missing I had interesting places to find her. Inside her wardrobe, near the washing machine enjoying the sound as it ran, under my huge rosewood dining set lost under the opened news paper of her dad. At times even the pooja room where she would find different instruments  that made sound or even colours [kumkum and haldi that are used by Hindus-check info here]. Not much unbelievable but at age 2 I would rock myself front and back listening to bhajans, and contrasting to it was J's upbringing listening to audio and video CD's of nursery rhymes.
Our preadolescent times punishments were surely adventurous. My olden times ancestral house had a huge attic for stocking tender coconuts illuminated by a old rusty bulb and had only a 2x4 foot door space & was the place I would be threatened to kept in for the pranks that I played and also for unattended food! My grandmother would create a havoc when one morning she would discover a missing tumbler in her bathroom that I hid, or her missing Vicco turmeric cream that too which I would squeeze out and use all over my body,  or my grandpas missing hawai's found in the study drawers!! But today my J isn't a tom boy like me. Either she isn't or she is busy for that! She attends art and Ballet classes in disciplined fashion unlike how we grew up.  She's unable to imagine with exact gravity, how could we ever make mud balls and call them laddoos, or simply jump into neighbour's compound when it was play time. How could one go without giving a  call first, she exclaims today.
There was always a difference. I had purely been open to the nature, playing in the big coconut yards, on the guava trees [they were easy to climb and had nicely made up kind of branches to settle down playing even a game like scrabble!].  I could peep into the open well, even pull water from it at age 13. My J has more luxirious options of her electronic gadgets, intellectual ideologies of play and playmates, internet and Google and so on. She has the whole digital and online world and for me was the totally offline environment with fresh air and lot of free time. Quite a few of my older posts here & there do have plenty of mentions of particular pasts.

Life goes on. And I continue to flow with it. Switching roles and comparing them being a mother and a daughter, from the time  she held my thumb. A real 100 % experience, that can neither be felt by the words that described them here not could be re-felt  with same gravity. They are golden days. Only to be cherished today. Memoirs revoked by my little one who held my thumb.