Monday, January 23, 2012

Love the lady in blue and Mantra of Marriage

"She came in blue salwar kurtha, matching accessories top to bottom, from ear rings,sandals,bag to "mathe ki bi bindhi". 
No ...no no said my mind but not the eyes. Could not stop looking at her killer looks. Looked like a fairy walking down from the blue strip of the rainbow straight on the blue carpet and towards me........".
This was the chanting of his adrenaline thumping  he felt as he watched the girl in blue who never left any opportunity for an encounter with him. It seems she was in love with him. College days and teenage love! His constant ignorance towards her made her only more stubborn. Following him to bus stops and college entrance grew into routines.
Ultimately world toppled for him. Repeated hatred turned into love. Repeated actions had their magical influence and he started liking her.   Her appealing tantrums had cast the spell, dare any guy resist when a girl has her stubborn strategies fully focused. He started liking her........Only to remain in his heart and never revealed to her in the three years of college. 

Excuse me, this wasn't the theme of a bolly wood movie with SRK and Kajol. These are the woes of my eligible bachelor friend and his family has lined up profiles and pictures of prospective girls for him. Yes what an pity, he will go through the popular Indian ceremony of "seeing the girl".
Scene 1. The girl has her checklist approved  by her parents and also a to do list.  Alphabetically sorted in Microsoft and printed in colour. The prospective groom  is in gulf. NRI. Means money. So the girl better put up her best to catch the prey.
Scene2. My boy cant wait for his chance to find one "beautiful wife" for himself. And he has already started his dieting and cut downs on caffeine and teas to manage the paunch lest one fair beautiful girl notices the wrong thing and paunch turns out to be the spoil sport. Has done his full homework for the forth coming adventure called marriage.
                  courtesy Google image
Well well well, my point is not just about his selecting a bride. Is today still the day where traditions rule the times and beat the hearts call? What if the blue girl was right for her. What if they really fell in love and found right partners in them? 
Traditional ceremonies are so very interesting and the best part is the variety of food laid out for you.
What raises a call and rings the alarm is:
1. Will you spend few hours or few meetings and decide this is the girl for you?
2.  A small question air round can decide your fate?
3. "Will you cook, stay at home, do my house" questions from the boy and "will you take me around the world, come home early from office" questions from girl is enough?

There is no x-step rules for happy married life. Neither is there a mantra to be patented. Blissful married life is about making your own mantra for each situation throughout the married life, to adhere to and compel your mind and heart towards winning each others heart over any ego's and making life easy.
My personal Mantra for a blissful married life would be:

1.You want to be independent? Remember your spouse wants to be too. Space to think generates more love.
2. Both need to talk, but when the heat in matter glows, one of you talk, so things aren't blown out. Temper is common, but at one time only one is allowed to show it!
3. Dislike something, never mind but only for your partner you can manage to like it for a while. You need not like the action or thing, but you love your spouse, so.
4. Raking mistakes of past repeatedly can aggravate present relations. Best forbidden.
5. Never bring the in-laws/relatives or even children for that matter, in your disagreements.
List can be elaborated to endless.

What about the path of the long future where in up-teem personal compromises need to be ensured. These compromises are like bitter pills that make your life healthier .

Love and let love......

Cheers,
Sush

14 comments:

  1. Wow!
    Rightly said,good marriages don't need mantras, they need hard work, love, understanding and space.
    I have become your follower.

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  2. As long as Indians are stuck in their caste crap, I don't think anything will happen..arranged marriages seem like such a sham..even if the marriage is arranges, the couple has to date atleast for a year before getting married, but hmmm...!..good advice :)

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  3. Your prescription for happy married life is good, especially the one relating to raking up past mistakes. I have seen this affecting life. I would like to add one more to your list- keep ego out of the relationship.
    Nice post.

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  4. There is no x-step rules for happy married life. Neither is there a mantra to be patented. Blissful married life is about making your own mantra for each situation throughout the married life, to adhere to and compel your mind and heart towards winning each others heart over any ego's and making life easy.

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  5. "There is no x-step rules for happy married life. Neither is there a mantra to be patented. Blissful married life is about making your own mantra for each situation throughout the married life, to adhere to and compel your mind and heart towards winning each others heart over any ego's and making life easy." Wonderfully True

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  6. @ rama: humble thanks with bow.welcome to my world of my thoughts.

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  7. @ anna- certainly many a times the traditional and cast traps are confusing and space blockers

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  8. @ nutka: You bet:-) I am married for 11 years now:-)

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  9. @ Valady Sir, your appreciation is a honor. yes the prescription is self tried.ego's best respected in relations and kept at safe distance is truly a good factor

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  10. I agree with all you wrote above. Some great reading Sush- read your other writings-enjoyed all.Happy New Year to you and your family!

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  11. Very wisely said Sush.. I agree with you ;)

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  12. nice post...i agree with you,a little bit of time to understand each other is necessary,a lil comprise from both,love and respect, understanding is more than enough i guess.

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  13. wohoo thats so true...loved it and enjoyed it

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